its me....

pain of love ....

The truth is....

as much as i want to be with someone right now-- i need to be the man i want to be with
i finally sleep well at night
i miss my best friend-- she went away two weeks ago.
i love my fam
i love my freinds
i'm sad
i feel like i'm getting depressed
might be time to go back to the pysch
my job keeps me busy
i'm smart n yet dumb
i'm afraid
i need to go to god
i know some sorta connection- although i just feel like distancing myself from everything
there somethings about myself that i don't like
i'm hard on myself-- sometimes too much
i'm getting older and now i understand so much more n yet not enough
i want to be in love
i want to be a good friend
i've choosen to forgive my father
i loves my moms
and i've forgiven her for not loving me about when i was little
sometimes i still feel little although i weigh 72 kgs
thick is in & i loves to eat
i love me
i feel pity for Left because i understand where he is at & i just feel sad that he cant love himself
my anger has turned to sadness
i'm proud of myself
i'm sleepy
its been so long since i've kissed his lips n i yearn for the taste of her saliva
i need to work on my self esteem
i often downplay or think that attractive men won't find me atttractive or i have nothing to offer
i sometimes think i'm boring
i'm a success n yet a failure
i try too hard
i need to relax
i think too much
i'm loved
i have so much growing to do
i miss who i used to be
but looking forward to the man i've become
i love him
i used to not love myself
my hands n feet are out of sync with my body
my limbs keep me on top of the ground
my feet need to spawn out n relax--get wet in the water
i'm afraid to get hurt yet i know its inevitable
i cried the last time i held Left---
i can no longer love Left because he doesn't love himself
i love me more than any man i've ever met
i just lied
i still believe n romance n love at 1st sight
i want to look into my mates eyes n see honesty--
my leg still hurts from when i got shot
my left foot barely touches the ground
my hips are awkward
the cords which were supposed to whisk my life away
yet i still breath
i'm happy that i'm still alive
i have hope
i believe in something better
in someone better-- maybe it's god but i refer to it as the universe
i have many angels watching over me
i'm bored
i urn for adventure
i love too hard
i dont trust easily
i have difficulty trusting myself & others
i've been hurt
i'm not good at what i would love to do
it's difficult for me to be truthful & truth is what i strive for

love hurts ..too much....

Love was always supposed to be
Something wonderful to me
To watch it grow inside yourself
To feel your heart beside itself



Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
(when you know you've given all you can)
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh
(you do your best but it's still much too bad)
Sometimes the pain is just too much
And it hurts like hell
That's the way it feels

True love
It has no hiding place
It's not something you just put away
It's always there inside of you
Ohhh, and it shows in everything you do

Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
(when you know you've given it your best)
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh
(you feel a thousand miles from happiness)
Sometimes the pain is just too much
And it hurts like hell
That's the way it feels

Here we are, the two of us
So full of love, so little trust
But dying for some tenderness
Ooohhh, but too afraid to take the step

Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
(when you know what it can put you through)
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh
(there's nothing funny if it's killing you)
Sometimes the pain is just too much
And it hurts like hell
That's the way it feels

I know if there is any chance
For us to find our happiness
We've got to learn to let it go
Ohhh oh, forget all the pain we knew

Sometimes it hurts to love so bad
Sometimes it hurts it hurts to even laugh
And it hurts like hell
That's the way
Oh baby
That's the way it feels